- March 13, 2017 at 7:42 am #219
I wouldn't expect this to be a problem, but the challenge is real. Once the general topics (like his biography, my family, his friends, my job, etc.) run out, I don't know how to continue. I know that communication at the beginning stages is very important, so it often stresses me out. Help me a little, please.March 13, 2017 at 4:14 pm #220
Do you want the relationship to go anywhere? Farther down the road and into the future? Then move the conversation from the past and present of both of you to what you want from the future. It can be a little intimidating to do this, because you will find out whether you are both on the same page or not. Either scenario can be a little scary, because if your man isn't thinking about the future, then just talking about it will make him nervous.
If all else fails Sarah, just tell him what you wrote in your post. “I like you and I want us to keep communicating, but my well has run a little dry. Help me a little. Please. I need some water.”
If it were me you were saying that to, I would see the vulnerability and honesty…….and I would give you my own water.March 14, 2017 at 3:06 pm #224
Onthego, strangely, those are simple ideas I haven't thought about. I guess I over think about whether asking about the future is jumping ahead too far, especially when we've just started to get to know each other. I don't want to look desperate, but at the same time still showing that I'm serious.March 16, 2017 at 3:11 am #229
It is a fine, isn't it? Let's say you're 3 weeks into it. Finances wouldn't be a taboo subject at that juncture. A 5 year financial plan is something generic enough to keep a conversation going and a good segue way into the future in general. Sound good?March 16, 2017 at 12:36 pm #230
This is something that appears to be an issue with so many people these days. I normally tend to let it flow because I don't like to force it. Instead of trying to force a conversation, why not find a couple of common interests and try those activities together? The conversation will come naturally in my opinion.March 19, 2017 at 11:29 am #236
Talk about your dreams and wishes. His may just line up with yours. I want to go spend the night in a castle in Scotland one day and tour the countryside. Something like this may sound intriguing to him as well and there you have it. The conversation is non stop.March 22, 2017 at 2:09 pm #242
Onthego, that sounds easy enough. I will give it a try!
Dani, it's easy to forget other things given how busy we are. Combine that with the lack of topics to talk about, the relationship may fail even before it starts. I just don't want to make that kind of mistake if I can still help it.March 25, 2017 at 5:18 am #249
This might sound like a silly suggestion but think about buying one of those “100 questions” books. Originally I bought it in college, and my friends and I used to get together for drinks and ask the questions to one another. It was a lot of fun, and the resulting conversations were epic! One night, getting ready for a second date and dreading the awkward lulls in conversation I knew were bound to happen, I got out the book and picked a few questions to memorize. Over pizza, I casually asked the first question. What followed was a great conversation that lasted well into the night. I never had to ask the follow-up questions I had memorized, and it made getting ready for my third date so much easier because I now knew him so much better. Good luck!April 6, 2017 at 3:13 pm #359
That's a great suggestion, constantcraving! I love to talk and listen when it comes to just about any subject, so I just start talking about anything and if he jumps in, I talk less and listen more so I can get to know him. If he's quiet with short answers, I pretty much decide it isn't going to work because I like someone more outgoing and confident.
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.