Home Main Forum Women’s Topics Keep the conversation going

This topic contains 8 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  SaraSmile 8 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #219

    sarah39
    Participant

    I wouldn't expect this to be a problem, but the challenge is real. Once the general topics (like his biography, my family, his friends, my job, etc.) run out, I don't know how to continue. I know that communication at the beginning stages is very important, so it often stresses me out. Help me a little, please.

    #220

    Onthego
    Participant

    Do you want the relationship to go anywhere? Farther down the road and into the future? Then move the conversation from the past and present of both of you to what you want from the future. It can be a little intimidating to do this, because you will find out whether you are both on the same page or not. Either scenario can be a little scary, because if your man isn't thinking about the future, then just talking about it will make him nervous.

    If all else fails Sarah, just tell him what you wrote in your post. “I like you and I want us to keep communicating, but my well has run a little dry. Help me a little. Please. I need some water.”

    If it were me you were saying that to, I would see the vulnerability and honesty…….and I would give you my own water.

    #224

    sarah39
    Participant

    Onthego, strangely, those are simple ideas I haven't thought about. I guess I over think about whether asking about the future is jumping ahead too far, especially when we've just started to get to know each other. I don't want to look desperate, but at the same time still showing that I'm serious.

    #229

    Onthego
    Participant

    It is a fine, isn't it? Let's say you're 3 weeks into it. Finances wouldn't be a taboo subject at that juncture. A 5 year financial plan is something generic enough to keep a conversation going and a good segue way into the future in general. Sound good?

    #230

    Dani
    Participant

    This is something that appears to be an issue with so many people these days. I normally tend to let it flow because I don't like to force it. Instead of trying to force a conversation, why not find a couple of common interests and try those activities together? The conversation will come naturally in my opinion.

    #236

    Gmom
    Participant

    Talk about your dreams and wishes. His may just line up with yours. I want to go spend the night in a castle in Scotland one day and tour the countryside. Something like this may sound intriguing to him as well and there you have it. The conversation is non stop.

    #242

    sarah39
    Participant

    Onthego, that sounds easy enough. I will give it a try!

    Dani, it's easy to forget other things given how busy we are. Combine that with the lack of topics to talk about, the relationship may fail even before it starts. I just don't want to make that kind of mistake if I can still help it.

    #249

    constantcraving
    Participant

    This might sound like a silly suggestion but think about buying one of those “100 questions” books. Originally I bought it in college, and my friends and I used to get together for drinks and ask the questions to one another. It was a lot of fun, and the resulting conversations were epic! One night, getting ready for a second date and dreading the awkward lulls in conversation I knew were bound to happen, I got out the book and picked a few questions to memorize. Over pizza, I casually asked the first question. What followed was a great conversation that lasted well into the night. I never had to ask the follow-up questions I had memorized, and it made getting ready for my third date so much easier because I now knew him so much better. Good luck!

    #359

    SaraSmile
    Participant

    That's a great suggestion, constantcraving! I love to talk and listen when it comes to just about any subject, so I just start talking about anything and if he jumps in, I talk less and listen more so I can get to know him. If he's quiet with short answers, I pretty much decide it isn't going to work because I like someone more outgoing and confident.

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